Avoidant attitude to the world had an important role in my life, it was protecting me from pain I couldn’t bear.
This statement came to me after one of the somatic therapy sessions when I finally felt where the root cause of my escapism laid.
Only when I honoured this resistance to engage with people and gave it space to flow through my body, this deep understanding and acceptance was possible. I feel very grateful to my somatic coach that she found the way to connect with that part of me, which was buried under an overwhelming feeling of guilt.
I am also grateful to myself that I managed to open up and show my vulnerability despite of my shame, that I still don’t have this element figured out.
The work during this session had powerful effect, although nothing was forced.
The intuition of another person helped me access knowledge stored in my body which I couldn’t access just with reasoning and dwelling about the subject since a long time.
From the other side I recognized also the part of me which is morbid and needed to be protected when I was young. This protection wasn’t modelled to me during childhood years, so the only way I knew to stay safe was avoidance. This way I was avoiding life altogether and close relations especially.
Now that I recognize that I have resources to protect myself, I learned how to take care of the fragile part in me. I know and also FEEL that it will be not so easy to hurt me, so I am less afraid of going out to the world. I learned tools to use in the critical situation in the outside world and maybe most importantly: transformed the belief that I'm helpless in confrontation with insensitive people.
Isn’t it amazing?!
For sure it gave me the feeling that healthy relationships are possible for me, it gave me a hope !
It sounds so simple right now, although it really wasn’t for years.
Thank you Agi, my Coach,
A.
*spontaneous note after the somatic coaching session*
Avoidance as a Protector
Email me: welcome@complexpersonality.com
Call me: + 34 625 448 773